Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
by Brookebynature
Summary: Fed up with life, and the way things have been going for her, Brooke resorts to drastic measures to ensure that she won't have to feel that way again. Can Lucas get to her in time? Brucas one shot. REPOST!


**Author- **Emily-Grace Mendes (Brookebynature)

**Disclaimer- **I don't own the song, I have to hand it to the people that do, because it's such a brilliant song. I also don't own the characters unfortunately, although if I did, things would probably go a hell of a lot differently.

**A/N- **Okay, so some of you might recognise this story as I have posted it before, but I read it this morning, and I wasn't too happy with the ending, so I've changed it. Don't worry, it's not sad :)

So please read and review, while I'm writing the next chapter for 'Life Is What You Make It'

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**Don't Tell Me It's Not Worth Trying For**

_It was hard work Lucas, really hard. I don't know if I can go through that again. I really don't know if I can fight for us. I'm sorry._

That's when she walked away from me. She turned round, and I could see the tears clear in her eyes, clouding her vision. All I saw was the back of her, her perfect form retreating down the street. I knew where she was going. There was a party at Tim's, and she was going there to get drunk and block out the conversation we had.

She knows she won't be able to block it out completely, but she'll drink until things don't make sense any more, so she doesn't have to be reminded of what happened between us. But do things even make sense now?

I have to go to that party. I can't let her destroy herself because of what we just talked about. It's not fair on Brooke. I need to make her see how much she means to me, and how much I need her to fight for us.

_**Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me**_

She didn't once bring her eyes to mine. She kept focused on the floor, or anywhere other than me. I could see it was hurting her to listen to what I was saying, but I kept pushing. Maybe I should have left it alone.

_**Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more**_

I just think that maybe, maybe if she just opened herself up a little, she'd remember how good we used to be together, how much fun we used to have.

_**Look into your heart - you will find**_

_**There's nothing there to hide**_

She really doesn't need to hide anything from me. If I've learned anything, it's that you should never lie to people or keep things from them. I shouldn't have kept the HCM a secret, I should have told Brooke about what happened with me and Peyton-hell, it should have never even happened.

The one mistake that has made my life hell for the past year could have easily been avoided.

_**Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice**_

I would give anything for her, I really would. Before, it's not like I didn't care, but more like I loved myself more than I loved Brooke. But now, she's everything to me, she means more than anything ever has, or probably ever will.

I go to the party, hoping I'll see her there. I know I will. Brooke was never one to miss a party anyway, and now she's hurting, it's even more of an incentive for her to go there. Free drink, loud music, people absorbed in their own worlds. Perfect for her to get wasted on her own with nobody to look out for her.

I see her sprawled across the sofa, a drink in her hand. She probably doesn't know what it is, or who gave it to her, but she's laughing at something. Laughing until she sees me.

That's when her face goes white and she gets up to go to the bathroom. She knows I'm following, and she starts to walk faster, barely able to walk in a straight line along the hallway.

"_Brooke_" I call after her. She doesn't look round "_Brooke please talk to me_"

She slams the bathroom door behind her, pretends not to know I was there. I hear the lock click and her body lean against the door, needing to be supported.

I stay outside the door, hoping that she'll open it and let me talk to her. She doesn't.

She must have been in the bathroom for at least half an hour. She hasn't moved once, her body has stayed in that exact same position slumped against the door. I know she'll be crying, trying to block out the pain, down the rest of whatever was in her drink to try to forget what's happened between us.

It won't work.

"_Brooke I'm sorry for what I did, please, I need to talk to you, explain what happened earlier."_

I hear a noise, and my heart leaps. She must be opening the door, telling me we can talk, wanting to hear my explanation.

I get that sick feeling when I realise that it's not the door she's opening, but the cupboard. I hear her trying to quietly rummage around. She's looking for something, I don't know what, but she's moving things in the way that you do when you know what you want to get to.

"_Brooke please just let me in"_

I wait for a few seconds before I hear her shay voice give me a reply.

"_I let you in before Lucas and you hurt me. I don't want that to happen again. I'm sorry"_

That was all I heard from her before I heard the sound of the cupboard shut, and then something was placed onto the tiles by the sink. Something that sounded like metal. Like razor blades.

My heart lurched-I knew what she was about to do. I never thought it would come to this. I had to try something to stop this, I couldn't let her hurt herself because of me.

"_Brooke I'll go away, please just come out of there, don't do anything stupid"_

I hear her sarcastic laugh, I know she'll be smirking in the mirror, ashamed of what she was doing, but too scared to stop herself.

I listen while everyone else at the party is oblivious to what's going on. They're having a good time, grinding their bodies to music, sipping drinks, shouting across the room to friends. It looks the picture of high school party happiness, but if you looked closer, you would see that people had their problems, and that Brooke and I especially, were about to have a whole bigger problem.

I pressed my ear up against the door, trying to listen for any kind of sound, anything which would let me know that Brooke was safe.

I hadn't heard her whisper "_Goodbye Lucas"_ before she took the razor blade to her wrist and dragged it slowly across the soft skin, tearing it as she went.

I'd stood there for 10 excruciatingly long minutes listening to complete silence before I couldn't take it any longer. I didn't know what Brooke had done, but I was sure it couldn't have been good, because the feeling at the pit of my stomach was one you get when you instinctively know that something isn't right.

"_Brooke?"_ I asked one last time, before I barged the door open like I had done at Duke when Brooke had asked me to come get her and Peyton. I grabbed the door before it could fly all the way back, but I wasn't prepared for anything like what I was met with.

She was lying there motionless in a pool of blood. Her face was stony white, and her eyes were closed. She was crouched by the sink, her legs close to her chest. Her hair was matted and when I touched her face, it was stone cold.

The tears pricked in my eyes as I stared at her, I just didn't know what to do. I pushed the door shut, and nobody had seen Brooke lying there. I didn't want them crowding around her, but I didn't even know if she was alive.

_**Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for**_

"_C'mon Brooke, please wake up" _I willed, silently begging God to let her be alright. She couldn't be taken from me, not now, it just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she'd felt she had to do this, all because of me.

"_Please fight for this Brooke, for us. Please be o.k"_

I take her freezing cold hands in mine and squeeze them lightly, trying to get some warmth into them. I suddenly realise I need to stop the bleeding, and I grab the towel off the rail, dampening it with warm water, and then I hold it over her wrist, pressing it lightly with my hand as I stroke the hair out of her face.

She really does look so peaceful, so untroubled. I don't know if I have the heart to bring her back into a world where her life is screwed up. A life she doesn't like, one that she wanted to end.

But selfishness gets the better of me. I want her here, I need her here.

_**You can't tell me it's not worth trying for**_

I touch her forehead and it's getting warmer. Her hands are too, so maybe this is working, maybe she can hear me. I look at her eyes and see they're starting to flicker, that she's starting to come round.

"_Please try for me Brooke, keep trying. Please don't give up"_

My voice is shaky and almost inaudible, but she seems to have heard it because her body is shaking too, and her eyes are looking at mine. She looks hurt, embarrassed, but worst of all, she looks fed up.

She bursts into tears and I scoop her shaking, convulsing body up in my arms and hold her close, warming her up against my chest. I try and shush her and whisper that it will be o.k, but I'm not sure if it will be.

After a few minutes of rocking her like a child, she stops crying, but I can see how weak she is. The towel is soaked with blood, and I press it against her wound a bit tighter. She winces in pain, but she doesn't have the energy to pull her arm away. She starts to loose focus, and her body is starting to go floppy, so I hold her tighter and keep talking to her. I can't loose her now.

"_Keep fighting Brooke, please stay awake"_

"_Lucas I'm sorry"_

"_Sorry for what Brooke?"_

"_For doing this, for making you feel like you had to rescue me. I was stupid"_

"_Brooke you weren't stupid, you were just…… hurting"_

She looks down at the floor again for the second time we've been together today. She pushes her body closer to mine though, and I wrap my arms around her and breathe in her smell; that sweet smell of strawberries on her soft skin. Her eyes start to shut and the shaky of her body slows down.

"_Brooke, this is worth fighting for, please don't leave me"_

"_Don't you get it Lucas? It means that much to me, **you** mean that much to me that it's worth **dying** for o.k? I'm not just trying or fighting for it, I'm dying for it."_

I start to crumble and it takes all I can to hold my own body upright, let alone Brooke's.

"_No Brooke, you can't go, you can't leave me now"_

_**There's no love - like your love**_

_**And no other - could give more love**_

I won't ever love anybody the way I love Brooke. I loved her in a way that was strange to some people, and she did the same for me. But even though we had our complications, our disagreements, we knew where we stood with each other, and we knew how much we loved each other.

_**There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way**_

If she wasn't going to be with me, then it would be like I was going nowhere. She let out a shaky breath and forced her eyes to stay open.

"_Please stay with me Brooke"_

_**I would fight for you **_

If we could just be together again, I'd never let her go, never let anyone come between us. I'd guard her with my life.

_**I'd lie for you**_

"_Lucas I'd do anything for you, you know that, but I can't keep going. Take this towel of my wrist and put it by my waist, just please get out of here. I don't want this to look like you've done anything to hurt me."_

_**Walk the wire for you **_

She's basically telling me to leave her alone to die. She can't leave me now, not now that we understand each other. We have something now. Well, we always did, but now it's clear cut. WE have each other, and that's all we need.

_**Yeah I'd die for you**_

She shook in my arms for a few more seconds, and then she whispered "Goodbye" in her sweet raspy voice that I love. Her eyes shut and I knew they wouldn't open again. Tears flowed out of my eyes and I didn't even bother to try and stop them. I held her there in my arms, breathing in her smell and feeling her body get stiffer. Her chest wasn't rising and falling anymore, it was just flat, peaceful.

_**You know it's true**_

And every night when I'm laying in bed, I think back to that night. And I thank God that she wasn't taken from this world, that she fought that little bit harder. And then she'll push her body closer to mine, and breathe deeply, kissing my chest. I'll just lay there, watching her, watching her chest move rhythmically up and down as her eyes flutter open.

"_You don't have to watch me you know Lucas" _she'll whisper softly with a hint of a smile on her lips. And I smile at her, and kiss her lips and her dimples and her forehead and her nose, just so that she knows how much I love her. She knows.

_**Everything I do - I do it for you

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Please review guys-they're very much appreciated xxx 


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